In a nutshell, Partners in Conflict

Partnerships of all sorts continue to fascinate me. Truly, 1 + 1 is at least 3. I am somewhat of an expert on the subject. Afterall, the subject of my doctoral dissertation was business partnership. It’s a phenomenon I have researched and lived.

 

In a nutshell:

 

Personally, and professionally, many of us are constantly drawn to seeking innovative ways to partner and merge with others. These partnerships can bring significant benefits. However, the partnering process is often disappointing, and alignment can be difficult to achieve.

 

In almost every endeavor–from rock bands to internet start-ups–an inability to manage conflict is a precursor to failure. Coming together with others can be especially difficult because of the significant changes and uncertainties that go along with transition. Mergers of all sorts amplify all the “normal” conflicts that already exist on both sides. Typically, it is not the financial or quantifiable details that destroy a partnership, those are just the symptoms. Instead, it’s the human dynamics that do us in.

 

Under every human conflict someone feels dismissed, discounted, disenfranchised, or disrespected. These emotions can wreak havoc. However, since conflict management is not quantifiable or visible it is often a forgotten commodity. Stake holders typically don’t realize that they need someone else to help manage conflict–until the conflict has escalated to the point of destruction.

 

What can you do? When appropriate, bring in a mediator, or other go-between, to assist with transitions and events (like weddings). To avoid a crisis, hold conversations early on, during the window of early enthusiasm, as well as along the way, when obstacles start to appear. This strategy can shed light on and immediately address any perceptions or feelings of being devalued–before the destructive emotions are acted out or acted upon. Clearly, the best person for facilitating these conversations is a third party neutral with no prior loyalties to either side.